FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER
The relationships we have with one
another in the church are of vital importance. We are commanded to love one
another (John
There is no doubt that we must be willing to forgive. Jesus
says in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive men their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Jesus says if we
want to be forgiven, we must forgive. Jesus makes this point clearly in the
parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:21-35. Are there to be any
conditions of forgiveness? Yes, I believe there are conditions, or at least
one. Listen to Jesus’ words in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves. If your
brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. “And if
he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you,
saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” Please note that in both verses
Jesus says we are to forgive our brother who sins against us “if he repents.”
Forgiveness is a requirement when the offending party repents, and only then.
One problem is that many people are confused about what
forgiveness really is. They contend that forgiveness is the cancellation of
bitter, revengeful and uncharitable feelings toward the other, replacing it
with a disposition of kindness and love. Forgiveness is the release, the
sending away of sins, thus restoring the peaceful relationship which the
offence interrupted. If the offender does not want to restore this
relationship, the offended cannot forgive no matter how much he may desire and
seek it. Some may say that we must always be ready and willing to forgive. Yes
we must, but this is not forgiveness. We are to love all men and pray for the
well-being, but we can forgive them only if they repent.
Someone else asks, “What is he doesn’t know he has sinned
against me?” Why doesn’t he know? If he has done something that has affected
your relationship, you have the responsibility to tell him. “Moreover if your
brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
If he hears you, you have gained your brother. “But if he will not hear, take
with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every
word may be established.’ “And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to
the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a
heathen and a tax collector” (Matthew
--Lamar